Mistakes feel yucky.
And on top of that I felt stupid because I knew better. But I was stuck in this wacky pattern that had me bouncing around like a rubber ball.
I let shame get the best of me.
I hid wrappers. I lied about what I ate.
That cycled into a vicious spiral of guilt and remorse and humiliation.
Wash, rinse, repeat.
I gave in to authority outside of myself.
I believed what my doctors told me:
That I’d “never” keep up with the other kids.
That I had little to no influence on my health. That I’d “manage”.
I didn’t listen to my intuition.
I heard the whispers, but I ignored them.
I KNEW there was more, I knew I was MORE, but I let fear fill my head.
I fell into the trap of nutrition experts, cultural norms, expectations, and societal pressures.
Magazines. Best-sellers. Media. Celebrities.
I kept trying what was supposed to work. It didn’t. At least not for long.
I thought small.
I had my nose pressed up against the glass and didn’t see the big picture.
I focused too much energy on the minutiae and not enough on simplicity.
I made it harder than it had to be. I didn’t allow magic in.
I disconnected from my body.
I separated my physical self from my spiritual self. From my emotional self.
I was splintered and chasing my tail trying to reintegrate.
I didn’t feel good enough.
I practically shape-shifted to please others because I thought the real me wasn’t deserving.
I spent my time, my attention, my resources on others.
It wasn’t until I grasped that I was the only thing standing in my way that my path smoothed out.
And the cool part is, once I committed to myself, it became easier and easier to hold that place of consistently enjoying health supportive foods.
At some point I said “enough!”. I wanted to stop zigzagging and finally stay consistent with healthy eating. I decided to get real (and get out of my own way).
If you’re bouncing around like a rubber ball, are you ready to let that go?
You absolutely deserve your own Satiated Soul.